We all feel some guilt in our lives at one point or another. Maybe it’s because you haven’t been to the gym in a while, or because you had two pieces of pie instead of one, or maybe you’re a mom like me an you suffer from “mom guilt.” Mom guilt is BRUTAL! If you are a working mom like me, I’m sure you are always wondering if you’re doing enough for your kids, if you’re giving enough at work, or to your spouse. It is a constant struggle and not easy to find balance.
This afternoon my youngest came home from school and asked my why I wasn’t at her play today. I stared blankly into her big brown eyes and silently wondered, “what play?” Suddenly images of the flyer on the fridge that read “Kinder Play – 2 pm” flashed into my brain. OMG. I missed it. How could I possibly forget? I am the worst mom on the face of the earth. I was immediately consumed by guilt and convinced myself she would be scarred for life. I quickly said “oh honey, I am so sorry I missed it. I had a meeting and I could not make it.” LIES, total LIES. Truth is, I didn’t have the courage to tell her I forgot. What would she think of me??
But, we often underestimate our kids. My sweet 5 year old little girl looked up at me and said “it’s ok mommy, you were at the other 2 plays and I know you love me, I forgive you”
She hugged me and skipped out singing Old Town Road…I stood there speechless.
Forgive me? How can she forgive me? I can barely forgive myself. The fact is, she already knew everything I needed her to know. she knew hos much I loved her, and without and without her even asking she forgave me. She showed me the grace that I could not show myself. Maybe instead of beating myself up, I could learn something from her. Even as a Christian who knows God’s grace, it’s often easier said than done.

We all try to be the best parents we can be, but we will undoubtedly fail at times. Instead of carrying around the guilt, let’s remind ourselves it is OK to fail, especially when we learn from it. I’m learning to give myself a break once in a while and I hope you can too.

Let’s go have a second piece of pie.

Mrs. Deacon

Do you remember when Seinfeld was talking about working out? He was like, “What’s the point? You workout so you can get to the next workout.” I have never had a job that required me to run miles at a time, do burpees, contort my body into a wheel or ride a stationary bike while dancing. Yet, I find myself working out 3-4 times per week. The Deacon is genetically predisposed to not be what you would call “ripped.” In fact, I refer to myself as “fat fit.” I am on a journey to lose a few pounds, look less like the Michelin man on the beach and be able to wear skinny jeans. Well maybe not that …But I also want to be around for my kids and show them that fitness is not just about your reflection in the mirror, it’s that space between your ears. Mine has more space than most, but when I feel good physically, I certainly respond better emotionally. And when I am emotionally healthy, I am more present and engaged with the people in my life. It is a personal journey and I hope you find perspective and give yourself a break. The Bible says your body is a temple and you have to train it. I agree. I may never have a 6 pack, but I can still bench press a keg …so I guess I am living my best life. Cheers to your health…inside and out.
The Deacon Speaks

I realized today that I am a middle aged. While at the playground with my daughter. I got on the swings. And started swinging. I could feel nausea rise and my bowels spinning. This could cure any constipation. I could feel my Eustachian tubes vibrating with each swing. Not a pleasant sensation for a 40 year old man. Then I got stuck in the slide due to my size. Yes I am middle aged. And I have embraced it. No more swings for me. Except for my patients mood swings. They are safer.
The Doc is In

I do not know about many things. But I do know medicine. My 3 year old daughter does not necessarily agree. She has a limited scope of medical knowledge at this time. She knows where her belly is located and that she need nail polish on her toes and earrings in her ears. That is the extent of her anatomy. The only other things she knows that if she gets a boo-boo it should be covered with a Band-Aid. How to apply band-aids is not something that is a focus in either medical school or residency. Thankfully nurses and medical assistants have had this skill. I realize today I do not apply them to her liking. I actually do not always agree that they are needed. Yet she wants one. All the time. She wants me to wear them. Her favorite rapper is likely Nelly. But I want to make her proud. She does not care that I could suture her skin back together she wants me to perfectly align a Frozen Band-Aid on her mildly scraped knees. So I will learn. I want her to be proud. Band-Aids for all.
The Doc is In

What do patients want from their doctor? We know they want us to have adequate knowledge. But most of us do. They want to know we care. So we listen and try to be understanding. Over the past few years I have been trying to improve the overall patient interaction.

Medical school is filled with lectures. Yes there is some small part of the curriculum focused on learning to interact with patients. There was a class for a few hours every other week called Physician and Patient. But that is not necessary to graduate. The main thing that lead to my M.D. was answering multiple choice questions.

But I have learned the key. I know what connects with patients the most. It is a simple thing that I put in my medical record notes. The patient’s dogs name. You may not remember the date of their colonoscopy or when they have a right total knee replacement. But if when they walk in you ask them how Sadie their bijon is they will love you forever. You are behind an hour just ask them if they have been taking Max the family pit bull for walks in the neighborhood. Hopefully if it is a pit bull it is not your neighborhood as well. Forget everything else but find a spot to list the name of the family dog. It works every time.

Unless they have cats. Then I have no advice. And the answer is 3. More than three cats officially makes you a cat lady. Even if you are a man.

Listen to your patients. They love their dogs. Often more than they love their family.

The Doc is In