We all feel some guilt in our lives at one point or another. Maybe it’s because you haven’t been to the gym in a while, or because you had two pieces of pie instead of one, or maybe you’re a mom like me an you suffer from “mom guilt.” Mom guilt is BRUTAL! If you are a working mom like me, I’m sure you are always wondering if you’re doing enough for your kids, if you’re giving enough at work, or to your spouse. It is a constant struggle and not easy to find balance.
This afternoon my youngest came home from school and asked my why I wasn’t at her play today. I stared blankly into her big brown eyes and silently wondered, “what play?” Suddenly images of the flyer on the fridge that read “Kinder Play – 2 pm” flashed into my brain. OMG. I missed it. How could I possibly forget? I am the worst mom on the face of the earth. I was immediately consumed by guilt and convinced myself she would be scarred for life. I quickly said “oh honey, I am so sorry I missed it. I had a meeting and I could not make it.” LIES, total LIES. Truth is, I didn’t have the courage to tell her I forgot. What would she think of me??
But, we often underestimate our kids. My sweet 5 year old little girl looked up at me and said “it’s ok mommy, you were at the other 2 plays and I know you love me, I forgive you”
She hugged me and skipped out singing Old Town Road…I stood there speechless.
Forgive me? How can she forgive me? I can barely forgive myself. The fact is, she already knew everything I needed her to know. she knew hos much I loved her, and without and without her even asking she forgave me. She showed me the grace that I could not show myself. Maybe instead of beating myself up, I could learn something from her. Even as a Christian who knows God’s grace, it’s often easier said than done.
We all try to be the best parents we can be, but we will undoubtedly fail at times. Instead of carrying around the guilt, let’s remind ourselves it is OK to fail, especially when we learn from it. I’m learning to give myself a break once in a while and I hope you can too.
Let’s go have a second piece of pie.