Kid’s Parties

Let’s all admit it your kids birthday party is terrible. We have a bunch of kids run around Bounce U or some other similar type venue for an hour followed by crappy pizza. We go because we want little Johnny to make friends though. We wander around chatting hoping to find someone to chat with that will not make you feel like a bad parent. What they do not usually have is booze.

There are slides and trampolines and ball pits. Here is the bad news. They did a study in ball pits in a physical therapy practice. What did it find? A lot. It found 31 bacterial species and one species of yeast. Enough stuff to give you pink eye, UTI, upper respiratory infections and even bloodstream infections.

Yet if you invite. We will come. I will allow my kids to jump around the dirt, drool and feces that is lurking.

Not at my house. Not for our party. My kids get a pool party. And open bar. Kid’s parties are terrible. But they do not have to be.

Double Dipper

I am focused on not spreading germs. Most times. I wash my hands all day long. I give out vaccines. I cover my mouth when I cough. And I make out with my wife less when I have a cold sore. But I have a flaw. I am a double dipper. If you have blue cheese or BBQ sauce or veggie dip. I will double dip every time. I cannot control it. So if you see me coming hold your salsa.
The Doc is In

Laughter

If you want to live a healthy life you need to laugh. Laugh every day. Studies have shown that daily laughter may improve overall health. Laughter may stimulate your organs and increase your intake of oxygen. It helps modulate your endorphins and expel the negative energy. Laughter may increase your bodies production of your own endorphins. And it may even improve your immune system over time. Make sure you have funny friends. Or even a funny doctor. You could be lucky enough that your deacon makes you laugh. Watch more stand up or Seinfeld. You should also not smoke or eat at McDonald’s or do heroin. But do not forget that laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have a urinary tract infection. Then antibiotics are the best medicine.

The Doc is In

Doorknobs

Before becoming a physician doorknobs did not mean much. We use them to open rooms. But as a physician we use them to leave a room. Doorknobs often make us think of entering. Entering a world or a home or somewhere you have never been before. In my job it means so much more.

I spend my days trying to listen to patients. Get a complete history. Then examine. Followed by the creation of hopefully a thoughtful assessment and plan. All of this mixed in with clicking and pointing on a computer. Then the visit ends and on to the next patient. Most times I try and complete my note before I leave the room. Until I reach for the doorknob.

As my hand firmly grips the doorknob to leave often there is one last complaint. Often it is a more worrisome complaint than anything we had discussed during the visit. Why did it wait until I was leaving? Do I now have to sit back down and start over? How far behind am I currently?

But do not worry. Either way I will get comfy again and make sure that nothing important gets missed. But please to patients of the world when doctors say “what brings you in for a visit today?” Let me have it. Do not wait until I can hear the wheezing of a patient in the next room to pull me back in.

Yet it goes differently when men have a question as I finally have my hand on the doorknob. I already know your questions. No – We do not have any Viagra samples. Yes – I will send a prescription over to your pharmacy. Maybe – Will it be covered? No – I have not had any recent patients with erections lasting longer than 4 hours.

Doorknobs are dangerous. Whether you are culturing whatever virus/bacteria live on the ones in my office or if as a physician you rush out as a final question is being asked.

The Doc is In

Pride

June is Pride month, where around the country events take place to honor the LGBT community. It is an opportunity to celebrate their dignity and equality while bringing awareness to issues that they face daily.
How does “The Church” or Faith community measure up in how we love our LGBT friend?
Five years ago I had the honor of supporting one of my closest friends as the best man when she married her wife. There was a ton of support from Christians I spoke with but it also prompted plenty of pushback. I prayed and wrestled with this choice earnestly and in the end I have peace that love and Jesus won that day.
I am not writing this blog to defend my choice or to rewrite theology. I have been taking a course put together by The Center for Faith Sexuality and Gender and I feel very encouraged by the approach of Pastor Preston Sprinkle, I promise that is his real name. He says that as a church leader it is more important for me to know and lover real LGBT people and pour into their lives, than it is for me to know every verse in the Bible that mentions same sex relationships. Amen brother.
Do you know how many LGBT people had a connection to the church at some point in their lives? Can you guess how many of them have stories of being hurt, mistreated or outright abandoned by that same church? That’s rhetorical … my favorite viewpoint that Pastor Sprinkle offers is that it is not “the churches theology that needs to change, it’s their posture.”
I believe that we can walk hand in hand with people as they experience life, which includes sexual orientation. The church should be a safe and compassionate place for the LGBT community, not one of torment.
See even though my BFF lights the menorah it’s not our theology that has hurt her, but words from actual Christians that have made her feel like the church doesn’t want her there. I argue that not only do we want her, we need her there. She has loved me when I was most unlovable, and forgiven me at my most unforgivable. Called me out when I was wrong and humbled me in life’s greatest victories. She is a caring, compassionate friend and doting Aunt to my girls. She has shown me the kind of love the Bible says we should show each other.

I challenge fellow Christ followers to pray earnestly to have a heart that honors God and loves people, just like Jesus did.
Love you Bone!
The Deacon Speaks

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